Are limiting beliefs holding you back?
The words we use every day are not as neutral as they seem. Language shapes our beliefs, and beliefs quietly shape how we feel, think, and behave. Many of the phrases we repeat were learned long ago and absorbed without question. Over time, they can begin to feel like the truth rather than a matter of perception. In therapy, one powerful place to begin considering what beliefs are shaping your daily life is by noticing what kinds of phrases you find yourself repeating in conversations or even in your own thoughts.
One expression I often hear in my work as a Ventura therapist is, “This is the calm before the storm.” On the surface, it sounds harmless—even wise. But for people who struggle with anxiety or depression, this phrase can reinforce a painful and self-defeating belief: if things feel good right now, something bad must be coming next. The mind stays on high alert, unable to relax and enjoy the present moment. In my clinical experience, this belief is not grounded in reality, but rather comes from painful memories that imprint into our unconscious expectations of the world.
Beliefs do not create reality, but they do shape our expectations.
When we expect danger, loss, or disappointment, our nervous system reacts accordingly, and we perceive the world to be more threatening than it is. We may feel tense, guarded, or emotionally distant even during periods of calm. Over time, this reinforces anxiety and makes it difficult to trust positive experiences. This is one of the reasons therapy in Ventura can be so helpful—therapy provides a safe space to examine these beliefs and understand where they came from, so they can be updated to a more supportive and helpful belief system.
It is worth asking yourself: what expressions are shaping your perception today? Maybe it’s something a parent or grandparent used to say so often that you can still hear their voice when the phrase comes to mind. These expressions can feel familiar or even comforting because they connect us to people we love. But familiarity does not always mean truth. When you pause to look at the underlying message of an expression, you get the opportunity to decide whether it’s something you want to keep believing.
How do you feel when things are going well in your life? Do you find yourself bracing for impact, waiting for “the other shoe to drop”?
For many people who experienced instability, unpredictability, or emotional stress in childhood, peace can feel unfamiliar or even unsafe. Calm moments may trigger anxiety rather than relief because the body learned early on to always be on the lookout for threats.
Through therapy, people can begin to explore how early experiences shaped their beliefs about safety, happiness, and stability. Working with a Ventura therapist allows you to identify patterns that no longer fit your current life. Over time, you can learn to tolerate ease, trust positive moments, and gently replace fear-based expectations with a more positive and balanced outlook.
I hope this post can help you consider that negative expectations may not be accurate and to explore the possibility that when things in your life are going well, it simply means it’s time to relax and enjoy. With support, insight, and self-compassion, therapy in Ventura can help you rewrite old narratives and learn to experience peace without an outdated belief system stealing these precious moments.